The Washington Post ran an op-ed on Sunday by Mohja Kahf, author of The Girl in the Tangerine Scarf. Entitled “Spare Me the Sermon on Muslim Women” Kahf responds to those who insist that the Muslim woman is oppressed, repressed, monolithic, brainwashed, and worthy of pity. Using brilliant language, which creates colourful pictures in the readers’ minds, Kahf explains the role of scarves in her life as a source of happiness. She then continues to explain how the various religious rituals in which she engages as blessings and sources of security, comfort and tranquility in her life.
Throughout the piece, Kahf juxtaposes the Muslim woman with the Western (non-Muslim) woman as a means of contextualizing the position of women in Islam rarely depicted in Western media. She explains that Islam has in fact provided women with many freedoms including sexual, rights and value equal to men, and protection. In comparison she points out the ways in which the West, and even Christianity, expresses its misogyny.
Kahf (in pink). Image via Heidi Schumann for The New York Times.
Kahf was able to deliver a punch with this piece. Her point, which I read as “Muslim women are empowered and strong thank you – now stop telling us different,” came across loud and clear. Personally, I enjoyed how she depicted her scarves, her prayer mat, and her clothes in such a soothing manner. I also appreciated her message that the scarf is not central to a Muslim woman’s life and that in fact many Muslim women do not even wear it. Though I must admit I found it odd considering it appeared after her extensive focus on her own headscarves. Although I do know that Kahf does not wear the headscarf strictly. She has been known to wear it casually herself.
When Kahf spoke of marriage, I found myself getting a little uncomfortable. Kahf paints a very unidimensional picture of the married Muslim woman. Undoubtedly Kahf tells of a young and willing bride, pointing out the consent issue so as to refute the all to common and unfortunate belief that Muslim women (or for that matter all “non-Western” women) are forced into marriage. So at least the reader would know this is not the case, usually. However, what made me uncomfortable was that from this piece it would seem that all Muslim women get married before the age of 20. She does not even mention that there are Muslim women who don’t get married in their teens. Additionally, Kahf scoffs at the idea of dating. Surely Kahf must know that there are many Muslim women who do date. Why is she not depicting a more diverse image of Muslim women? She showed our diversity in regards to the headscarf, so why not marriage?
I also found myself squirming when she mentioned the mahr – an obligatory gift from the groom to the bride. She states that “a mahr has to have significant value – a year’s salary, say.” My point of mentioning this is not to get into a debate about the value of mahr, but my understanding has been that the mahr can be any amount, even intangible, not necessarily significant. My worry here is that this may present the Muslim woman as materialistic, not concerned with love and caring, but rather how much money she can get. But this may go back to my own discomfort with whole idea of a prenuptial.
I did have to smile a little when Kahf mentioned Islam’s comfort with sex. Islam does encourage healthy and pleasurable sexual activities between husband and wife. And yes, as Kahf mentions, this is in fact quite different than Christianity, which has strongly discouraged any pleasure be taken from sex within marriage or not. Additionally, her mentioning of how masturbation and abortion (with certain conditions) are permissible in Islam also educated the reader of an oft neglected guilt-free and individualistic picture of a Muslim woman.
As I was reading I began to think, “Yes, Mohja, but many of these wonderful privileges for Muslim women are not enjoyed by the women.” And I am sure many of her readers would be thinking the same. Therefore, I was glad to see that Kahf did mention deficiency in many interpretations of the rights and privileges of Muslim women. So she does acknowledge that although she may enjoy many of these rights and privileges, not all Muslim women do.
Kahf then gives through her argument the final punch when she informs the reader of some of the great Muslim women leaders in previous and contemporary times, reminding them that not even the U.S. has had an elected woman leader.
The overall feel of the piece was definitely one of vindication. She wanted to defend Muslim women against all the pity. And she did. Along the way she was also able to depict Muslim men as decent fellows, the few times she did allude to them. With a few exceptions such as marriage where she made us monolithic, a mistake on her part, she was able to paint a rather independent and even sassy image of the Muslim woman.
Editor’s Note: You can read another take on this same article by a guest contributor tomorrow.
Jewel of Madina
Whatever else it may be, it is also about making money. Let us respond appropriately. Make pdf or word copies of the book and email it to all, I mean millions. Nobody will need to pay and buy.
Do that to all such ventures.
The Washington Post really dropped the ball when they included a slideshow of headscarves. WTF? How is that relevant to Kahf’s piece about how she’s not just a headscarf? Uh-HUH.
I didn’t know Christianity discouraged pleasurable sex in marriage. Hmmm. New to me.
I enjoyed the piece. Especially the introduction.
I liked the author’s writing style, but the message has been heard once too many times. Why do Muslim women living in the West and wearing the hijab feel they need to continuously explain their dress choice to non-Muslim skeptics? Explaining the religion’s treatment of women itself is all fine, but what does that have to do with dress codes? Dress codes are but one small part of the religion. Such non-Muslims will just have to accept it as an individual’s right to express their freedom of being.
I did not understand what the author meant when she said her cousin chose “4 times” did the cousin marry and divorce 4 times?
Divorce is permitted in Islam as a practical means of making life easier for those who really need it. Reconciliation is favored, and the Quran has listed steps to facilliate that. But if all fails, then divorce is permitted. Divorce is considered the most hated permitted act a Muslim can do. So no Muslim embarks on it unless she or he has no other choice.
I regret to read the flippant manner in which this author treated the process of picking a spouse, marriage and divorce. Just because it was done then, does not make it right. Many Muslims get married, and divorce within weeks on basis of some frivolous complaint. This is not in the spirit of what the Quran (God’s literal words) has advocated – never mind what you learned in your history books about so and so.
Worldly Muslimah, thanks for your comments. But I don’t think it’s fair to criticize the author’s cousin for however her marriage arrangements worked out–we don’t really know the circumstances. Besides, everyone’s experience with looking for a spouse are different.
Fatemeh, I was expressing an understanding based on a written observation – one that I would have reached for any individual, muslim or non-muslim. Being engaged or married 4 times, to me, constitutes a flippant treatment of marriage. I would say the same to a woman or a man.
(shrug) Okay. Agree to disagree. :)
It’s not true that Christianity discourages pleasurable sex within marriage; many sects actively encourage it.
Great review, I’m glad you wrote about this article.
I found Kahf’s article really refreshing to read. I think we often get so focused on critiquing media representations of Islam and women that we forget to celebrate the good things; we spend so much time saying “Islam isn’t oppressive,” and stopping there, and the positive role of Islam in our lives doesn’t always get talked about. Or, you’ll see articles that talk about positive things in Islam, but only in opposition to the supposedly evil, immoral “West.” I really liked how Mohja Kahf talked about some of the things in her article, and really identified with her descriptions of prayer, prayer clothes and wudu.
I did think it was weird to focus so much on the scarves, but at the same time, I appreciated that she wrote about them in such a different way. We spend so much time speaking back to the media, saying “get over the scarf, it’s just an article of clothing,” and so I liked the way that she introduced the topic by talking about it AS just an article of clothing, in a really matter-of-fact way. I also liked how she spoke about wearing hijab as an extension of the scarf that she wears to pray, and bypasses the normal discussions about why people wear it.
A couple of the commenters here have talked about how Kahf’s understanding of the role of sex within Christianity might not be complete; I wonder if that’s a flaw that comes out in other aspects of her article as well, where she’s fighting against the common perception of Islam, but perhaps not interrogating her own perceptions of Christianity or (non-Muslim) Western society/laws? It would be interesting to see a Christian feminist response to it. I would also be curious to read similar articles by women of other faiths about their reflections on gender issues within their religions.
Hehe the bit on the mahr is funny. Mahr is an interesting one, as a ‘love match’ I knew my husband well and was happy to take what the author would percieve to be a small amount. Alternatively a convert sister I knew was pushed into marriage, got one date for a mahr along with physical abuse and had to be willingly deported to get her out of the country, she also apostated to try to get her husband to divorce her. I think in terms of marriage where there is no trust existing between the pair to begin with ie they know each other or their families will guarantee the relationship, then a one year salary mahr is reasonable. However it does not make sense to reject a wonderful religious brother who doesn’t have money to favour a less religious brother who can give you $30k or whatever.
Interesting reviews of the article. I can see where both reviewers are coming from. I too am sick and tired of having to explain that being a Muslim woman does not mean you’re abused, or forced into marriage or uneducated etc.
The only thing I found that I differed with the reviewers on is that they didn’t seem to like Mohja’s writing style. I think she was writing in that way because it’s a topic that is hard to explain in such a short piece and go into depth about. I personally think it was pretty good for the space allotted.
@Celeritas:
Or a good match who doesn’t have lots of money verses a bad match who does. Good point!
[...] I saw your op-ed yesterday, as well as some commentary on it. First an article by Sobia at Muslimahmediawatch, then over a hundred (mostly hostile) comments, following your op-ed, and now [...]
[...] Sermon on Muslim Women”. Sobia from Muslimah Media Watch posted (a mostly positive) response here, MMW then featured a more negative analysis from Muse here (which has since been retracted) and [...]
The article of Kahf made me smile. In her world, it looks like there’s no macho muslim man who looks at women as a piece of meat, no gays, no social constraints regarding hijab and so many other DETAILS that make up the daily lives of so many muslim women. It was a good try but really, it’s dangerous to over generalise her case !
Mohja Kahf wrote a response to Crypto-Muslim’s “Open Letter” : it’s worth a read.